Days and Nights

Days and nights blend together when you don't work.  When you have little or no purpose in your life because you are too busy resting and being tired.

Wow, that sounds depressing.  I know it is true, too.  Days and nights do blend.

I have always been a night person.  I have always wanted a nap around three in the afternoon, and I usually feel like staying up until about three in the morning.  Ok, maybe just until one or two, but I have always been like this.  Thus, the days and nights really do blend together for me.

It is kind of strange because I feel guilty about sleeping so late and staying awake so late.  Now, here i am in a place in my life where it doesn't matter when I wake sleep.  Yet I do feel guilty.  My schedule, if I allow it to flow naturally, does not sync with anyone else in my life.  I wake up and cook dinner for my roommate when for me, it is breakfast time.  Weird.  Then I shower and get ready for bed when really, all I want to do is go clean the garage!  Yeah, who wants to clean the garage??  But it is true.  The only energy I ever have seems to show up between ten and midnight.  And it doesn't matter if I get up at eight or noon, or even after.  My only possible hope for a "normal day" is if I get to bed by eight pm.  And I don't do that very often, as my roommate does not get home until seven or eight.  And I cook the dinners!  That is my one and only "job" here right now.

So it is midnight, and I am up writing.  I need to find some way of bringing in some money, as I am responsible for more bills than I can pay right now, and if anyone has any suggestions, that would be great.
I think my calling is to work with animals and/or people in some sort of ... I wouldn't call it counseling... but I have a gift of sorts with animals and people.  I know things.  Animals seem to really understand me when I speak to them...  Now I am sure you think I am crazy!  Well, like I said, it is past midnight.  :)

Blending days means it is time to find purpose.  I have been working on that.  Right now, my purpose is to figure out insurance.  That has hardly seemed a purpose for getting out of bed!  Still, what must be done, must be done.  Does one go for State Health, DSHS (ugh), and Individual policy, or COBRA?  It is hard to focus on each and understand how each is similar and how each is different because they all seem to use different terms.

I also have a garage to clean so we can finish insulating it, a pole barn to clean so we can have a sale in it (for my National Multiple Sclerosis Society Walk team fundraiser), five acres of "yard" to clean, landscape, plant things, etc...  I have a whole life's worth of purpose!  And I get to cook Paleo Pizza tomorrow for dinner!